The flusteration of kyon
by c0rndogz
Summary: Haruhi Suzumiya, a first year at north high, always knew she was attractive. But when various students start to fall for her, she begins to wonder just how average her looks really are. AU, contains a reverse harem.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: This is based off a little concept I put on deviantart, called the flusteration of kyon. So obviously, I had to do it. Hope you enjoy the first chapter!**

_Is est quam infit._

Kyon walked up the hill. Rather nervously, may I add. He Knew from the moment he got up that he would have to do the dreaded- Talk to people. Ever since three years ago he'd been afraid to talk. And every time he did, they asked him about his interests. About his bizarre, alien, time traveler and _esper_ intrests. He'd learned from all the laughter just to keep to himself. But that couldn't happen in high school. You had to make friends.

He was already sure that these were going to be the longest three years of his life.

After an incredibly embarrassing ordeal, he managed to spew out something.

"I am Kyon...I like aliens, t-time travelers...and es-s-spers...so please stay away!"

He sat down at light speed, covering his face in embarrassment, and blushed furiously.

And that's when she got up.

"Greetings, my name is Haruhi Suzumiya. If you are an alien, time traveler, or esper, please join me. That is all."

As gasps passed through the room, Kyon lifted his head and turned around to face the girl.

And in that moment, he believed in love at first sight.

Over the next few days, he noticed a pattern. On Mondays, she would leave her hair free, Tuesdays, a long, flowing ponytail, Wednesdays, she would wear pigtails, and so on, until Saturday when her hair was tied up in five different places. And she still managed to look stunning.

She seemed arrogant, almost rude, and he had no reason to like her. But somewhere in the back in his head, there was a tiny voice bearing a startling resemblance in personality. Had He finally lost it? As they say, love makes you crazy.

Suddenly, an idea popped into his to her, maybe she's really nice but doesn't show it.

But how? He got a heart attack every time he looked at her, let alone talked to her.

_Why am I even doing this?_

"....Er..." He turned around to face the girl.

"....ah......Hi."

_What the hell was that?! I bet she hates me now! Whoever heard of that type of introduction! Stupid, stupid, stupid ,stupid, stupid! I should just lay down and die!_

"Oh, hello. You were the one that liked aliens, time travelers, and espers, right?

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .What.

"R-right. I do."

She smiled. It was the first time, but Kyon couldn't help but think that it was too _sordid_ to be genuine.

"You're really Moe! I like you!"

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .Okay seriously, what.

_S-she likes me..._He thought, thrilled. _She really likes me! And she says I'm Moe! Wait..._

"...Are you paying attention? You aren't are you?"

"WAUGH!" He cried, reddening. "I-I-I'm sorry! I don't know, I must have ADD or something!"

"Just pay attention!"

"Y-yes ma'am!"

"So..." Kyon began nervously, "How did you end up in this school?"

"I was originally supposed to go to kyouyen, but for some reason I failed the test, even though I picked the right answers. I've been having trouble for a while now."

"Uh...why were you-I mean, uh, Since when?"

"...well, I live, or used to live in the part of the city that's overgrown, right up until tanabata three years ago. So I think it might be radiation poisoning."

Kyon stared, agape. He struggled to form an at least slightly coherent reply, until finally a pathetic "ohh..." was wheezed out. He never even _dreamed_ it was that serious.

She smirked in return. "What, was that too much for undersized pea brain?"

He averted his eyes and flushed. "I'm sorry...." He whispered.

Silence.

Two seconds...

Five seconds...

Ten seconds...

"This just proves something, you know."

Kyon snapped up in fear. "Wh-what?"

"That too much Moe is a _bad thing!_ I mean, look at you! You don't even have enough dignity to defend your own dignity, let alone others! How will you win someone's friendship, or their heart?! That's it, you're coming to the literature club so I can make you into a real man! Just you wait!"

And with that, she dashed out of the room.

Kyon smiled to himself. _Oh wow...Haruhi wants to help me...this is great!_ He stupidly smiled and stretched his arms out in front of him.

_Just you wait, Haruhi! One day I'll be man enough to win your heart!_

**A.N.: FINALLY this sucker is done. And this is only the first chapter. As you can see, this is an AU with the characters roles and personalities changed significantly. I hope you enjoyed this!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: Soo, started with the new chapter, so you can have EVEN MOAR of your moe. And today, I shall introduce a few more characters to be in Haruhi's harem. So what am I waiting for? Let's go! I hope you'll enjoy this!**

It was lunch, and Haruhi was doing reasearch. It wasn't all that hard, talk to the guys and they talked almost immediately. Currently, she was interrogating two guys named Taniguchi and Kunikida. And like most, they weren't helping much.

"Well..." Kunikida began, "Early on, he was really sarcastic and almost a jackass."

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . . .What.

"A jackass? _Him?_ Seriously?" She was being reasonable. It's a long, long way down from a jackass to a crybaby.

"Yeah. But after three years ago, he totally changed. He was the poster child for the word 'crybaby'. I don't plan to find out why."

Taniguchi nodded sharply in agreement. He didn't speak a word.

"Well, did he have any interests?"

"Yeah," Kunikida replied, "Paranormal stuff, like you. Only he was more drawn in by books and pamphlets."

Haruhi gave a golden smile.

"Thanks! I'll be able to help him now!" She chirped. "It was good getting information!"

And with that she spun around, her skirt flipping up ever so slightly, and left.

"Hey, you okay?" Kunikida asked warily. "You look vacant all of a sudden."

Taniguchi flushed, and waved his hands around as if to deny this.

"Ohh, I see, you like her don't you? Don't worry, I'll try and get her to notice you."

Taniguchi blushed furiously at this, and waved his hands even faster, to no avail.

He had already left.

"Hey- wait- where are we- ACK!"

For the third time, Kyon stumbled, and almost fell.

"We're going to start a new club!" She called, opening the door. "Called the SOS briga-"

"Oh, sorry, this occupied by the literature club."

Dead silence. Absolutely dead silence.

"Well, too bad, we're making a club here! Move along!"

One of the people, a brown haired boy, not much taller than Kyon, stood up.

"There is no way I'm letting you Destroy this club!" He shouted. "Right, Nagato-san?"

A girl with purple hair looked up from her book. "Right."

"See?" The tall boy cried. "You can't just make a club! Go away! You're too bothersome anyway!"

"Hey, hey, settle down, please." a voice asserted. "There's no need to scream about it."

It was none other than Ryoko Asakura.

"Hey! I was getting to the good part! Why do you always have to interrupt me?"

"because-"

"HEY!" Haruhi shouted. "WHAT ABOUT US?"

Silence.

"YOU CAN JOIN OUR COMRADES!" Itsuki screamed enthusiastically.

"Okay...so we're joining them?"

"I-I...guess so."

"You know that Koizumi guy? I think he's interesting. Maybe an esper. That's why I joined. Oh, and that blue haired girl is in our class, right? I heard she has synthesia."

"..."

"...what?"

"Oh, nothing. I'm fine."

"...Really? It's nothing? Then why haven't you finished your form? Come to think of it.." She leaned over to see the papers in his hand, and he flushed and looked away." You haven't told me your name."

Kyon's head began to hurt._ Everyone asks this question..._ He thought miserably.

"Well, what is it? I can't call you 'Kyon' forever, you know."

"I-I know, I just...I...uh, I don't..."

The words finally flew from his mouth.

"I don't know."

**A.N.: Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I figured I'd leave you waiting for the next chapter! lulz. Anyways, Please review, don't kill me for being so slow writing this, and I hope you enjoy! Also, sorry It's so short!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: So, I have finally got off my ass to work on this again. About time, considering the positive reviews I'm getting. Sorry for the wait, and I hope you enjoy!**

Haruhi stared at him.

"You don't remember? What do you mean?"

"I...I forgot."

"But wouldn't your relatives know it? When did you forget it, anyways? Three years ago?"

Kyon lowered his gaze. He despised such questions. Or more specifically, he despised answering those questions.

_"Where are your parents?"_

_"Killed."_

_"alright, let me get you two registered. Your ages?"_

_"I-I'm 13 and she's 8."_

"..."

"...kyon?"

_"What's your name?"_

_"W-well..."_

"Kyon?" Haruhi poked his shoulder, concerned. "Are you alright?"

_"Are you alright? What's wrong? You're shaking."_

_"I...I-I don't..."_

_"You don't what?"_

_"I don't know! I'm sorry!"_

_"What are you talking about?"_

"I-I..."

His face was beyond broken. After all, this wasn't the first time he recollected the day his life began to suck. Hiding in the nearest corner, Kyon sat and quietly cried.

"Kyon...?" Cautiously, she squatted and put her arm on his shoulder, in an attempt to calm him down.

His tearful eyes widened.

It was fortunate that they were alone, for lo and behold, As Kyon began to still, Haruhi leaned forward and hugged him.

"Please don't cry." She breathed. "You need to be a man, remember?"

"R-right. A man..."

He turned around, wiping at his eyes. She was smiling.

"Th-tha...thanks...Haruhi-san..." He murmured, flushing. "I'm better now..."

"I'm glad."

Kyon was about to respond, but then Haruhi grabbed him in a tight embrace, leaning against him.

He flushed beet red, and fainted dead away.

Taniguchi sat outside the school building, looking out onto the hill, and further out, his eyes falling upon the ruins of the previous location of kohyouen. The sun was beginning to set, almost blinding him.

"Hey."

Kunikida walked up behind him, carrying a bow and a few arrows.

"Oh, and before you ask, I was at the archery club.." He added, watching taniguchi get off the ground. "So don't get pissed at me."

He eyed him anyway. Few people waited this long for friends who promised they'd only take five minutes but the took five hours. Although, technically, it was only three.

He nodded, and they walked off.

The next morning, the students were at their desks, trying to endure the prominent heat and humidity, when the teacher walked in.

"Students, we have just received a message from the government stating that due to the climate being indefinitely changed, you are required to wear your summer uniforms for the entirety of the school year from this point on. It also states that the six-day school week has been shortened to five days, excluding those handicapped. This means that you will not have school tomorrow."

The entire class immediately cheered.

"So, Haruhi, what are you going to do on your day off tomorrow?" Kunikida asked. "Half the people here have no Idea, But I figured you would."

"Hmm...I'll probably stay home. there's not much to do, anyways."

"oh, okay." He responded. "I figured you do something more...eccentric, but oh well. See you later!" He waved, and walked away.

"See you later!" she waved cheerfully back.

During lunch, she was speaking with Kyon, when Ryoko Asakura approached her.

"Hello, are you Haruhi Suzumiya?" She Inquired.

"Yes, Why?"

"May I speak to you in private?"

"Sure, but why?"

"You'll see!"

As they walked along in the hall, haruhi couldn't help but notice that many of the people were staring at her, some with annoyance and some with worry. It felt odd, but she ignored it. Finally, they reached the clubroom, which was empty.

"Haruhi-chan, " Asakura remarked inaudibly. "This is the only way I can truly express the colors your voice creates. Here." And with that, she handed her a piece of paper, and walked out.

It read:

_is est quam infit _

_ego sum vix illic _

_quod vos es gauisus _

_Tamen Volo vos erant mei _

_Quod ego mos pugna pro vos _

_haud res quis sumptus ego mos pugna pro vos _

_Vos volo ut licentia _

_insciens of crocus of vestri consors _

_quod of mihi _

_Tamen unus dies nos ero unus _

_EGO SPONDEO _

_Is est qua is terminus._

. . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . .What.

Haruhi stared agape at the bizarrely written poem. Only one question lay on her mind.

"What the hell _is_ this?"

Haruhi sat down in her seat, profoundly confused, and continued to eat her less-than-delectable lunch. She had no stomach for it, however, and decided to put it down and bother Kyon.

"Hey Kyon!"

"Eeeeeep!"

He flinched, and banged his knee on his desk.

"Wh-what?" He cried. "You shouldn't s-scare me like that!"

"What do you think of this poem?" she asked. "I know you're a smart person, Moe people are always smart, so you must know what this means!"

Kyon took the paper from her hands, shakily reading it.

"Where did you get it from?"

"I...found it in my shoe locker. What language is it?"

"Er..." He stammered. "I-I...I think it's latin! Or Italian! S-Something like that, right?"

"I guess." Haruhi then turned to the window, satisfied, and daydreamed.

Kyon turned around, and stared at the note angrily.

_Damn!_ He thought. _Who put this in her locker? Is it a love note in disguise? Oh...god, I can't let them steal Haruhi's Heart..._

He attempted to dispel thoughts of Haruhi leaving, to no avail. Finally, he crushed the paper, and put his head down.

_I'm doomed..._

At her seat, Ryoko closed her eyes, thinking of the color of Haruhi's Voice. It was quite literal in her case, after all, she had synesthesia. The cool, oceanic blue-green that appeared before her was a comfort in her horrible world. She had to write out her feelings, even though she risked not being understood.

Latin was like a second language to her, even though she simply translated. The hues in those words-when read aloud, they'd show her love.

The love she'd easily kill for.

**A.N.:Good lord, compared to the other chapters, This is garbage. I really disliked how It turned into a sort of poem. Hopefully I'll redeem myself next chapter. So, can you tell me what I need to change? Thanks a lot if you do, and I hope you enjoyed this! (Edit) I added some dialogue, to hopefully help the story. I'm really glad I edited it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.: I'm so sorry this took so long. Please forgive me, aaaaaaargh. I apologize, and I hope you enjoy!**

Ryoko tapped her fingers on her desk, watching. For several days after she had given Haruhi the note, She had stopped speaking with her, it worried her. She could sense people's moods as shapes, and from Haruhi's round, porous psyche, she could tell she was troubled. Ryoko carefully observed her as she spoke with two others. Jealousy bubbled up inside of her against them, how _dare_ they speak to her-

Then, Kyon walked up to her and asked her a question. She couldn't hear it, but she knew that whatever he said was trouble. She could feel the buzzing of caution in her bones whenever Haruhi spoke to her, the prickly voice suddenly turning smooth.

That was not a good thing. She had to act fast.

_So, _she thought, _What should I do...Kill him, or do worse?_

Something inside her head told her what to do.

_I'll do it this evening..._

"KYOOOON!" Haruhi cried! "Time to go to the literature club!"

"AUGH! Y-yes Ma'am!" He squeaked.

Nervously, he made his way to the clubroom, and opened the door. Nagato and Koizumi were arguing over something, haruhi was reading a book and asakura-

wait.

Where _was_ Asakura?

Kyon looked around the room, wondering where she was.

"HEEEEY KYON!" Itsuki screeched, distracting him. "THIS PICTURE IS A DUCK, RIGHT?"

"No, you're wrong!" Yuki countered. "This has to be a bunny! I'm sure!"

Kyon jumped back, startled, and flushed bright crimson. "W-well..."

His eyes widened. "Oh yeah! I remember now! It's an optical illusion, right? So It looks like a bunny _and_ a duck!"

Nagato huffed. "I still say it's a duck!"

Itsuki Turned the other way. "AND _I _ STILL SAY IT'S A DUCK! _BECAUSE I'M RIGHT!_"

The two walked to opposite sides of the room, and picked up books, and began to read, simmering in anger. Kyon quietly backed away from the disaster zone, towards haruhi.

"Erm..." The boy whispered, flushing in his usual fashion, "..what's with them today?"

"Oh?" She responded with equal volume, so the other two didn't hear, "I don't know much, but they're supposed to be really close friends. You hardly ever see one without the other. There are rumors that they're a couple, too."

"ah...They have been together a lot, haven't they?"

"Yeah...Hey, were you looking for Asakura Earlier?" She asked. "She came by, and told me to tell you to come to the classroom. You should hurry up, Kyon."

Kyon stood up straight. He knew where Asakura was, now. He just needed to confront her.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Kunikida stepped up stair after stair, towards the roof. He grunted under the weight of the two bags, but continued to step, until he finally reached a door. He turned the doorknob, and-

Immediately kunikida was pushed back by the intense heat and humidity. Even with the little air conditioning the school still had, it wasn't _nearly_ this bad.

"Hey, taniguchi!"

The grey-haired boy, who was looking over the edge to the hills and Kohyouen school, turned around, saying nothing. He stared at kunikida with cold, flat, dark brown eyes.

"...The archery club. They want you to join."

Taniguchi looked...puzzled. He raised an eyebrow, pointing at himself with his thumb.

"Yeah...they said they thought you were a good shot."

His thumb turned to the boy.

"...They didn't say anything about me, actually. They just told me to go find you. Here, I got your bag. You forgot it." He extended his arm forward, presenting the bag.

Suspiciously, he took it.

Kyon and Haruhi slowly strode down the hallway toward the classroom, stopping at the door.

"Thanks..." He mumbled, bowing, "...for walking me here. I don't think I would've had the nerve."

"No problem. Just try to do it on your own next time, okay? You can't be depending on me for everything."

He nodded. _I'll try my best, and I'll win!_

Ryoko gazed at the two from inside the classroom, rage bubbling behind her eyes. How _dare_ Kyon take her beloved from her, just look at him! He might well be calling out, "I am in the Yakuza, and I'm only acting cute so I can cause more emotional damage when I rape her later."

They bowed, and Haruhi, the one she would soon save, walked away.

Kyon opened the door. Ryoko gripped the handle of her knife, waiting for just the right moment.

"Err...What is it you wanted to speak to me about?"

She narrowed her eyes slightly. "Kyon, please don't mind that I ask this, but why do you speak to Suzumiya-san?"

"ah..." He paused, flushing in his typical manner. "W-well...she's really nice and...she's smart, and really pretty-"

"So you're in love with her?"

He turned beet red. "I don't...ah...I...er...w-well..."

"You know, you should drop the act already. It isn't cute anymore."

"Wh-what?"

Ryoko took a step toward him. She unsheathed the knife, slowly, carefully, as kyon drew back in terror.

"You had your chance, so now you must die!"

"GYAAAAAAAA!"

Haruhi felt tense. She knew Kyon wouldn't usually be this nervous, even to a stranger.

_There has to be something up. _She thought. _But what? It's not like Asakura-san would _kill _him or anything._

She scanned around the room, and her eyes fell on the lavender-haired girl in the corner. She had seen her talk to Asakura-san before. Maybe she could help her?

"Hey, Nagato-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Huh? Oh, sure. What?"

"It's about Asakura-san. Is she violent?"

"...This is because of Kyon-san, Isn't it?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well...to be honest, I...I know her, and I think she likes you-"

"WHAAAA? B-but-! I'm a _girl!_ And-and-and _she's_ a girl!"

"That doesn't seem to stop her."

Out of the corner of her eye, Haruhi thought she saw Itsuki listening in.

"Listen," Nagato continued. "When Asakura is jealous of somebody, she can be dangerous. You'd better go get Kyon while he's still alive."

Haruhi dashed out immediately.

Kyon staggered back slightly, Asakura's knife glaring through the hole in the bottom of the chair he had picked up. His left eye was incredibly sore, so he shut it. She pulled the knife back out, and was about to stab again, when-

Kyon threw the chair at her.

Quickly, he ran to the door, and was about to open it, when he noticed Haruhi rushing down the hall, towards him.

_Haruhi-_

Immediately Kyon felt an astounding pain in his gut, and the warm blood streaking down his lower stomach and groin. He collapsed to the ground. Asakura had got him.

_Dammit..._ Haruhi opened the door, and was screaming.

_What'd I even do..._

At the hospital later that night, Kyon thought about how lucky he was to survive. Lucky and yet obscenely unlucky.

_"A minor stab wound, although nothing is very badly damaged." The doctor droned. "Oh, and a scratched cornea. You'll need to wear an eye patch for two or three weeks."_

_"And as for asakura?" He questioned._

_"Oh? She's been taken to the psychological ward. Apparently she has some sort of split personality."_

_"Okay. Can I go home now?"_

_"Absolutely not!" The doctor cried indignantly. "You'll be staying two days, at the least!"_

_"But I need to take care-"_

_"No more nonsense from you! You need your rest, doctor's orders!"_

He stared blankly at the ceiling, and wondered how he was going to afford all this. It simply wasn't practical, and he _needed_ to take care of his sister.

Suddenly, it hit him. He picked the phone and dialed.

"Hey, Haruhi?"

"Yeah? What is it? DID YOU DIE? I'LL-"

"N-no! It's...If...If I give you my address, will you go over and check up on my little sis?"

**A.N. Oh. my. GOD. I am SO SORRY this took three months to write. I hope it was worth it. As for next chapter, some Itsuki/Yuki sexual tension and Haruhi meets Kyon's little sister! Enjoy!**


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